Rebekah: A life that speaks to us
By J.P. Thackway
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. Genesis 24:67
And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. 25:21.
And … Rebekah … called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran; And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother’s fury turn away. 27:42-44.
These three scriptures are about Rebekah: Isaac’s wife, and the mother of Jacob and Esau. They are at distinct stages of her life. The first is her introduction to Isaac and their marriage; the second, is concerning a serious difficulty which the Lord kindly resolved in answer to prayer; and the third, a sinful policy that overshadowed the closing years of her earthly pilgrimage.
Rebekah was clearly a godly, gracious woman. Her early life was full of promise, and as it progressed, it fulfilled much of that promise. Yet, her later conduct meant that she left the world under a cloud. This, sadly, is the course of all too many lives. Saddest of all, it mirrors the lives of Christian people. It stands as a warning to us – but also as an encouragement to tread a better path for our future.
What happened with Rebekah? As we consider her life, we must remember that this is not just about someone living thousands of years ago. It is more than of historical interest to us. In Romans 15:4 the inspired apostle reminds us that: “whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”
Let us learn from Rebekah in these three key stages of her life.
1. As a Wife
Genesis 24:61-67 is the delightful scene where Abraham’s servant brings Rebekah from her home to Isaac to become his wife. This marriage is vital. The promise made to Abraham concerning Christ’s coming must be fulfilled through his “seed” (Genesis 28:4). Therefore, that blessing given to Isaac must now come upon Isaac’s heir as the next generation. His marriage, therefore, is necessary for a son who will carry this forward, in the Messianic line, down to Christ in the fulness of time.
1] It was an “arranged” marriage.
The custom of those times did it that way. But in a higher sense it was arranged by heaven. Eliezer, as he prayed his way along, could say, “she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac” (Genesis 24:14).
Christians who prayerfully seek marriage with a pure heart will find the same. Every marriage “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39) is arranged by a kind and gracious God. It is never just two people meeting by chance: it is by divine appointment. God brings His Eves to their Adams (Genesis 2:22), His Ruths to their Boazs (Ruth 2:3) – and His Rebekahs to their Isaacs. Marriages like this are truly made in heaven.
2] The Lord prepared Rebekah and Isaac for each other.
As Rebekah grew up at home, she learned those qualities that would equip her to be someone’s wife. Her thoughtful, serving heart showed itself at the well as she drew water for Eliezer, “and for thy camels also” (Genesis 24:14,19). The servant has shrewdly asked for this extra touch as a providential sign to identify Rebekah as the one for Isaac, and so it proved to be.
For Isaac, his character and qualities were graciously worked in him as he grew up, coming to a head in his unresisting co-operation with his father on Mount Moriah: “Abraham … laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood” (Genesis 22:9). This, and everything about his upbringing would have prepared him to be a good husband (Genesis 18:19).
Here, then, is the lesson. If you are single, and you hope for a blessed marriage, in addition to prayer, prepare yourself by striving, by God’s grace, to be the best daughter or son at home first. And to be the best friend and help to others too. Then, you can hope the Lord will honour you with this unique union in His time. As Matthew Henry put it: “Those that have approved themselves well in one relation, it may be hoped, will do so in another.”
3] It happened as they were willing to obey the Lord.
Rebekah showed this in agreeing to leave her home and family to be joined to Isaac and God’s saving purpose: “And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go” (Genesis 24:58). And Isaac, what was he doing when Rebekah appeared in the distance? He “went out to meditate (in the margin, pray) in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming” (Genesis 24:63). He saw the provision of God while communing with Him – again, in the way of obedience and devotion! And so the Lord is pleased to crown real religion with the choicest of His mercies – marriage – which Milton called, “Heaven’s last best gift.”
For Rebekah, the happy sequel was the beginning of a new chapter in her life: “And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her” (Genesis 24:67).
2. As a Mother
In Gen.25:20,21, the second of our passages, we find Isaac and Rebekah with their faith deeply tried. Comparing verse 20 “Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife” with verse 26 “Isaac was threescore years old when (Rebekah) bare (Esau and Jacob)” shows that for twenty years no son came for them.
1] This was a prolonged challenge to their faith.
In verse 21 we have the poignant words concerning Isaac’s wife, “she was barren.” For one of the most important marriages in history there was no “fruit of the womb.” This was not what Isaac and Rebekah expected. As time went on, disappointment and dismay must have increased.
2] This did not mean Rebekah was mistaken in marrying Isaac.
She had not stepped outside God’s will. We tend to imagine that when trouble happens, or lack of blessing, that we are no longer pleasing the Lord. However, it is common for saints in the path of obedience to find that things go wrong. For example, the first time Moses went to Pharaoh at God’s command, it made things profoundly worse (Exodus 5). Samuel anointed David to be king in place of Saul, yet he faced more than ten years of trouble and danger from Saul! (1 Samuel 16-31). Our Lord bade the disciples cross the lake of Galilee in a boat, they obeyed, and yet they met a fearful storm (Luke 8:23). The God-fearing, obedient servant can yet be someone who “walketh in darkness, and hath no light” (Isaiah 50:10).
This principle can apply to a marriage that is in difficulty – it does not mean we have married the wrong person. It means that we both need to properly understand, and faithfully implement, the Scripture’s directives for marriage (Genesis 2:18-25; Proverbs 12:4; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Ephesians 5:22-25; Colossians 3:18,19; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
It also applies to a new job that we have begun. Initial problems do not necessarily mean we blundered. In time, with God’s wisdom and enabling, things can come right. A minister begins a new pastorate and trouble results from his faithful preaching – he is wise if he sees this, not as the Lord’s call to leave, but as the Lord’s opportunity to prove His sufficiency. And to realise that God has a work to do in His servant as well as in the people. Obedience does not guarantee a smooth path, but it always has the promise of a safe one. Matthew Henry said: “The way of duty is the way of comfort.”
3] Providence contradicted the promise.
As she left her home for marriage to Isaac, “they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions” (Genesis 24:60). The reality is she is barren and the mother of none!
This is an example of what the Puritans called a “cross providence.” It means that God who makes the promise, by His providence seems to go against it. God is not the author of confusion, but we can feel confused by the mystery of He dealings. However, Thomas Watson exhorts us with wise words,
God is to be trusted when His providences seem to run contrary to His promises … The Lord does oftentimes, by cross providence, bring to pass His promise. God promised Paul the lives of all that were with him in the ship, but now the providence of God seems to run quite contrary to His promise; the winds blow, the ship splits and breaks in pieces; and thus God fulfilled His promise; upon the broken pieces of the ship, they all come safe to shore. Trust God when providences seem to run quite contrary to promises.
Yes, the providence can turn and fulfil the promise: “There is a turn of matters, just as He is pleased to turn His hand” (Ralph Erskine). Then the promised blessing is seen to be even more of God, and He has all the glory of it.
4] The need was turned into prayer.
“Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife” (verse 21). The word for “intreated” means “fervent.” Isaac earnestly prayed to the Lord about this, as all godly souls in perplexity do. Even in this we are profited, because anything that brings us to the throne of grace is good for us. And we should remember that this entreaty was concerning the Saviour who would one day come by this answer to prayer. Isaac therefore had a good plea. And so it is for us, when we pray in the Saviour’s name: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you” (John 16:23).
5] The answer came.
We read, “and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.” In this, Timothy Cruso reminds us, “Promises, though they be for a time seemingly delayed, cannot be finally frustrated … the heart of God is not turned though His face be hid; and prayers are not flung back, though they be not instantly answered.” The Lord had heard all along, and now He answered, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD” (Psalm 113:9).
It was worth the wait. “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
3. A Schemer
Forty more years pass, and Esau and Jacob, the sons of Isaac and Rebekah, are grown up. As chapter 27 opens, there is evidence of spiritual decline in both parents. Isaac, whose talk is about his stomach more than his soul, is about to give Abraham’s blessing to his favourite son Esau! (verses 1-4). This spurs Rebekah into action to divert the blessing to her favourite son Jacob (verses 5-29).
In this, we see both parents in a bad light. As Alexander Whyte, in His Bible Characters wrote, “The single plank that spans the terrible gulf between Isaac’s marriage-bed and his death-bed is laid for us in this single sentence: ‘Isaac loved Esau because he did eat of his venison; but Rebekah loved Jacob.’”
For Rebekah, her scheme for Jacob to impersonate Esau, deceive his father, and obtain the blessing by a lie, and even blasphemy (verse 20), was entirely unworthy of her. This carnal policy showed a disregard for the glory of God, reverence for her husband, and her son’s integrity – and as it turned out, for his safety also. To see her – resourceful, practical and fast-acting – instead of prayerful and trusting God in this crisis, is in sad contrast to the sweet, godly, gracious and obedient girl in early life. Some searching lessons appear from this.
1] Let us beware of favouritism in the family.
“Isaac loved Esau … but Rebekah loved Jacob.” The same will reappear when Jacob makes a favourite of Joseph (Genesis 37:3). It is a recipe in the siblings for insecurity, rivalry, jealousy, and estrangement. If our children are not happily assured that we love each one exactly the same we have done them a disservice. Let not emotional attachment blind us to biblical principle.
2] Rebekah took things into her own hands.
Her reasoning was that her blind and sensual husband was going to act disastrously in giving the blessing to carnal Esau. Therefore, she must act to prevent this and ensure it goes to the right son. However, there was no need because God had spoken concerning this. Before the sons were born, He said, “the elder shall serve the younger” (25:23) – meaning Jacob, born just after Esau, would have the precedence, which would include the blessing of Abraham. The situation called for trust not interference. Providence must be followed, not forced.
3] Things went terribly wrong.
In 27:30-28:5 we see the trains of consequences that followed Rebekah’s scheming. When Esau realised he had been tricked, his anger blazed, and he vowed to kill Jacob as soon as their father died. Providentially, someone reported the words to Rebekah, and she sprang into action again. She had to further scheme, and frantically arrange Jacob’s escape to Haran, her former home, getting her husband to send him away, ostensibly to avoid marrying Canaanite wives as Esau had done. She thought it would only need a few days for Esau’s anger to cool and it would be safe for Jacob to return. In the event he was away for twenty years, and she never saw her favourite son again: she died before Jacob returned.
4] This is a sad change in Rebekah.
She has gone from that spiritual and gracious bride, and praying woman – to the hard-nosed, manipulative wife and mother. It was sinful scheming. She deceived her husband, made Jacob a liar and imposter, and endangered his life. She was left with a degenerate old husband, a carnal son Esau and his heathen wives, and her favourite son gone forever. Again, Alexander Whyte in his Bible Characters, compares the early and later life of Rebekah and sums up the contrast in these two telling quotations,
“A Sweeter chapter was never written than the twenty-fourth of Genesis, nor a sadder than the twenty-seventh.”
“That the ship was launched on such a golden morning only the more darkens the surrounding gloom when she goes to the bottom.”
The lessons that come from this are easy to see, but we will need grace to heed and profit from them.
a] We must never resort to carnal policy or pragmatism.
No situation can ever justify our intervention from such motives. We must be principled and in the fear of the Lord. He will show us what to do, if anything. We need never do evil that good may come. The Lord is over all, and we too are in His hands.
b] Resorting to unscriptural measures is not only wrong but potentially ruinous.
Nothing good can come without God’s approval and blessing. It will only lead to trouble and more sin.
c] The passage of the years tests our piety.
It is sad that so many start well in life when young. And run well for many years. And yet, in later life seem to fall at the last hurdle. “The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness” (Proverbs 16:31), but not otherwise.
d] The last should be the best.
The nearer heaven we are the more heavenly we should be. “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day” (Proverbs 4:18) – “more and more” and not “less and less”! The Puritan Vavasor Powell said, “Pray that thy last days, and last works, may be the best; and when thou comest to die, thou mayest have nothing else to do but die.”
e] Is it too late to come back?
No – while we are in life there is hope. We cannot undo the consequences of our past sins and failures, but we can be personally made right again. The Lord promises, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten” (Joel 2:25). There is saving grace, preserving grace – and restoring grace. In the great and eternal scheme of things, this is what counts in the end.